Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Randomize
