How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
the condom got lost in my hair
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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