I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
