Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
