It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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