the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
