She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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