You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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