if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
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I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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