Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
high people should be assigned attendants
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Are we still banned from the library?
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Randomize
