Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
