I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
