Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
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