ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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