the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Randomize
