So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Randomize
