did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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