In America we eat man semen.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Vodka?
Forever.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
