Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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