Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize