whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Randomize
