I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
No I am not eating basil off your cock
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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