Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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