similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
