Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I'm passing your future prison.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
