I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Randomize
