Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
one might say we're banned from that church
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
