I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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