i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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