it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
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