the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Randomize