I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
