You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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