ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
