One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
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