I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
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