Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
