i don't like sucking hair
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
