Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I just had sex on a roof
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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