I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize
