You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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