i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize