I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
