Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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