Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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