READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
