i wish my penis had a tongue
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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