Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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