Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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