I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
