She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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