why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
