You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Randomize