If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
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We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
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You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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