We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
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